apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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