she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
