Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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