I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's official drugs can't kill me
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
