i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
