eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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