1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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