these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
