I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
