this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
