That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
