It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
