This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
