Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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