so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
