Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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