We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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