you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
