Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
