Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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