I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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