Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Someone signed my nipple.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
