physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
