Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
You smell like stripper and shame
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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