She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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