My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
