she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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