I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
