If that was your dad, he is hot
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
