You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
