did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
