the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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