Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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