Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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