His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
