return my video game
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need to calm my uterus...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize