i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
