ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
