Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
