I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
