Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
