I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
