I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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