I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
