the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
