I just threw up on my dentist
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
