I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
