Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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