where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
They are going to name an STD after you.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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