If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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