She's JV to your varsity
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
