ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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